laysiaprincess:

mintzy:

dalishpariah:

we opened at 11 this morning. i watched an old man literally pry the fucking sliding doors open at 10:43 and stand there just staring into the empty store and my coworker & i were like sir. for the love of fuck

I worked in a restaurant for while and a woman climbed past an A board sign, ignored the sign on a the door saying the opening times and trotted on in.
When told we were not open she asked why the door was unlocked. My manager explained that it has to be unlocked when people are in the building to comply with fire regulations. Which lead to my favourite exchange with a customer:
Woman: But there are no people in here.
Manager: Madam. The staff count as people.
Woman: That’s ridiculous. *Storms out*

“The staff count as people” has me dead

marveliskindacool:

sexualthorientation:

thesocialnetworkost:

“describe thor and loki’s dynamic with a single gif”

#i love how thor doesn’t even really try to stop loki’s murder knives it’s just a weary hand like ‘oh dear #‘don’t’ #‘can we not do this today’ #‘this has been my entire life do you see’ #‘[softly] loki no’ #this really is the dynamic (via @et-in-arkadia)

It’s like jazz hands but murder

princessamericachavez:

I’m a huge sucker for characters that chose to be heroic. Like, no big profecy, no great chosen one moment, just someone who consciously decided to do the right thing because someone fucking had to.

omgthatdress:

stevonnie:

stevonnie:

stevonnie:

if i ever get another chinchilla i will name him vinny the chin after the former mafia crime boss who once held me as a baby

ok i might not have been directly in the arms of vinny the chin himself now that i think about it but basically what happened is that my mom had been following his trials when it was going on back in the late 90′s and like. she was on this flight that also fuckin happened to be transporting this mob boss to his next trial so like there were a bunch of mafia people on this plane with him and my mother was like “holy shit, it’s vinny the chin” and she literally started?? talking to these mafia guys. and she had to run to the bathroom and for some reason was like “can you watch my kid for me for a second” so my mom left me with the mafia. and she kind of? didn’t think about it? and realized fully what she had done as she was washing her hands so she like runs back out and i was fine. they were playing with me and i was laughing. i think it made the news. anyway that’s the story of how baby me enamored a bunch of mobsters

my mom found the article AND the boarding pass from that specific plane trip… i didn’t realize he was literally on his way to prison… i’m crying… anyway, this is the proof behind the text post. i’m the baby

I am so obsessed with this post you guys have no idea.

and let’s admit it

through an unlikely series of events, a bunch of mobsters are left in charge of looking after a baby is the greatest 90s comedy never made.

just-shower-thoughts:

By always blaming Millenials, we are showing that our generation (which raised them) doesn’t take responsibility for our problems.